Ikusaka
by MaleficGhoul
Summary: A Battle of the Bands tournament is in town and everyone's honing their musical talents for one night of glory. The cloaked members of the band Ikusaka are experiencing turmoil as their former leader is hunting them down with a new band, the Six Pathz. What's this? Now Itachi and Kakuzu are out for their blood too? How will Ikusaka overcome their enemies? And who is D.A.D.?
1. Chapter 1: Two Days Left

Disclaimer! I obviously do not own Naruto or any of its characters, but I do own my original characters since they're, well, original!

Co-Writer: TheCorpseGarden

CHAPTER 1: TWO DAYS LEFT

PART 1:

DANGEROUSLY ACCUSED DINGOS

Nakimi Ishikawa barged into Azure's basement through an old wooden door at the top of a steep flight of stairs, nearly killing herself by tripping over a wire from her keyboard, and falling face first towards her band mates. Azure, Allerrac, and Lily were fortunate enough to dive out of the way in time, but their lead guitarist, 'El Fucko', wasn't so fortunate.

Sorry!" proclaimed Nakimi with a raspy laugh, as she arose from the carnage of a broken keyboard and a broken El Fucko. Of course she was sorry, of course. This only happened about every week.

"You IDIOT!" screamed an enraged Azure."I'm going to have to kill you one day, especially if you destroy my goddamn drum set!"

From the ground, El Fucko released a low moan. He sat up with a look of confusion, gazing at each of his mates with stupid curiosity. Before he could say anything, there was a hearty laugh from the top of the stairs, a laugh everyone knew very well. Their vocalist, Mr. Clean, stood before them, an empty bottle of beer gripped tightly in his hand. Of course his name wasn't actually Mr. Clean, but the Puerto Rican had recently shaved his head along with all his facial hair, giving him the appearance of the beloved cleaning genie.

"Ahhhh, this day's a fresh one!" He pointed to a random place at the bottom of the stairs. "You! El Fucko! Look alive, man! I-"

Before he could even dare finish his sentence, the drunken man fell to the last step, just as Nakimi had, and landed face-first on El Fucko's junk.

"Ohhhhh, what the fuck man?!" bellowed El Fucko, finally able to open his mouth.

The larger of the two Puerto Ricans writhed around on the ground holding his wounded crotch as Mr. Clean staggered up and pulled his sacred microphone out of an unseen pocket. Nakimi stood next to Allerrac as she tried her best to hold in fits of laughter just like a third grader who posted a "kick me" sign on a classmate's back.

"Well, this is quite an exciting way to start off band practice." said Allerrac with a sly, sarcastic tone. "Our keyboardist broke her instrument, our vocalist is probably doesn't know if he's sitting or standing, and our lead guitarist might need hip replacement surgery."

Allerrac helped El Fucko to his feet and sat him into a chair as Nakimi continued to let out small bursts of laughter. Azure quickly turned to her dark friend of several years and delivered a hard echoing slap to her right arm.

"The battle of the bands tournament is in just two days, can you_** please**_ get your shit together?" She hissed.

Nakimi whimpered slightly and proceeded to close her mouth and stand silently starring at the floor with a glimmer of guilt in her eyes. Mr. Clean was anything but clean at the moment as he opened up another Heineken, which had been shaken up from the fall, and accidently covered himself in alcoholic foam.

"Yo ho!" He cackled. "Looks like I'll need a bath tonight!"

Azure, not paying attention to Mr. Clean and his drunken stupor, proceeded to make a few more fine adjustments to her drum kit. Upon sitting down she yanked off her plain black sweater, revealing a black "Dirty Rotten Imbeciles" tank top and signified that she was ready. At the same time, both Lily and Allerrac had plugged in their guitar and bass respectively and were ready to commence as well. The only one who wasn't ready was Nakimi, for obvious reasons; her instrument was totaled. She awkwardly sat on an old musty smelling sofa and starred dead at the floor, embarrassed. Even the likes of El Fucko and Mr. Clean had managed to set up despite their temporary handicaps.

"Nakimi…" sighed Azure, "you can borrow the spare keyboard in the closet. But don't fuck it up like you did last week."

Nakimi quietly walked over to the closet as Allerac and Azure were lecturing Mr. Clean.

"Dude you can't keep wandering around like a drunken gorilla, especially when we only have two more days to prepare.'

"Ah don't worry, I'll be fine! *Hiccup!* I can drink much more than this and still give a slolid (solid) performance. The rest of you need to chill out. I am King, after all; the rest of you would be on the floor without me!"

"Allerac, why the hell is this guy still in our band?"

"Well you see –"

The three of them continued to bicker amongst each other while Nakimi retrieved the spare keyboard, still missing a couple of sharps from an incident last week.

"I wonder if_**he'll**_ be there..." Nakimi quietly asked herself.

"Will who be there?" a curious and almost recovered El Fucko inquired. Nakimi had not even noticed that he and Lilly had set up right next to her.

"Oh, um, no one." Nakimi badly lied.

"It's not one of those cloak wearing goons from Ikusaka, right?" asked a concerned Lily, "Especially not that creepy ginger guitarist?"

"He's not cre-" Nakimi had tried to stop her tongue from spilling out her inner thoughts, but it was too late for that.

"YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SASORI?!" screamed Lily in her falsetto voice.

Every person in the room dropped what they were doing and starred at Nakimi, who had swelled up with so much mortification that her face had turned beat red.

"You have a crush on Sasori?" Azure sighed.

"You have a crush on whom?" Allerac questioned.

"Sasori!" Lily cried, "The lead guitar dude from Ikusaka!"

"Well at least it isn't that orange-haired penis from that other band." El Fucko laughed.

"What other band?" Allerac was completely lost by now, but before he could get answers, Mr. Clean stood up on his large amp and spread his arms out as if he planned to embrace a ghost.

"WELCOME TO MY BIG PERFORMANCE!" He then fell face-first to the floor, knocking the amp to the side. He'd made an unconscious decision to take a sudden cat-nap in order to sober up.

Nakimi was glad the pressure was off of her... for now.

CHAPTER 1 PART 2:

ANGRY WOOD

All seven members of Ikusaka were held up in Deidara's garage, unable to escape due to Sasori's insane obsession with perfection. That and he had his Third Kazekage puppet guarding the only exit. It was either they suffer another hour and attempt to get every note perfect in their three song set, or be poisoned and replaced with a puppet of Sasori's choosing. Pain, who may have been even more insane that Sasori, had once been the band leader. He ended up leaving due to everyone else's insolence (or in normal terms, he thought he was too good for them). He had gone as far to break up with his girlfriend and current Ikusaka bass player, Konan, and had told everyone, "Gods cannot be held back by a bunch of dogs." The only information gathered on Pain at the current moment was that he had gathered his five other paths and formed a new band. Word has it that he has never left his house since his new band's formation.

Anyways, after Pain abandoned Ikusaka, Sasori took over as the band leader and manager. Everyone thought it was a gift to work with someone as talented and creative as Sasori, but now that gift had turned into a curse. Sasori was starting to act like their former orange haired "God."

"No, no, no. That was incorrect. Do it again. Do any of you know what true art is?"

"My man, Sasori, please. We've been playing the same song for two hours! Isn't it time we moved on, hm?"A worn out Deidara called from behind his drum kit.

"As much as I'd like to, you whelps need to get it perfect." The redhead replied with an ignorant tone.

"Did he just call us whelps? Ha!" An irritated Kisame blurted out while resting the butt of his guitar on the floor.

"I'm warning you Kisame... If you piss me off one more time, I'll tear you apart."

"That's what you said last time, puppet boy!" Kisame fired back. "You can't run this band yourself."

"Time to attack." said Sasori with dead eyes.

"What?" But before Kisame could mouth another word, the Third Kazekage slammed into him, luckily with no poisonous blades exposed. He sailed into a cement wall with a thunderous crack and a sour groan.

Hidan, who had been taking a short cat-nap in the midst of the drama, awakened after hearing Kisame fall to the floor with a broken wood shelf on top of him.

"Hey, hey! Can't you see I'm resting over here, fuckers!?" Hidan yelled at his two comrades, lounging on a couch with his hands behind his head.

"Don't blame me, Hidan," proclaimed Kisame, rising from the rubble, "blame the control freak with that ugly sex doll."

"Don't get involved if you know what's good for you, Hidan." warned Sasori with a crazed look in his eye. From the time Kisame hit the floor to now, Sasori managed to tear his robe and shirt off. He was ready for a fight and had the intent to kill.

"What the hell are you gunna do, you fuckin' pussy? Haven't you gotten it into that wooden brain of yours yet? I can't die, you little bitch!"

Sarori, with little emotion left in his now wide eyes attempted to stare Hidan down with no success.

"Just because you're the lead singer doesn't mean you own the band... I do!" cried the enraged puppeteer.

"C'mon already! You've poisoned me what- four, five, maybe six times already? You can't do shit, gay boy!" chortled Hidan with a mocking smirk on his face.

"What if I lob that ugly head of yours off Hidan? Think you can lead this band then?" shot Sasori with a sinister growl to his voice, before diving towards his opponent with the Third Kazekage by his side.

Hidan and Kisame both grabbed their weapons of choice within a heartbeat and charged towards their advancing adversary. Both men had enough of a teenager running their lives.

Before Hidan and Kisame could tear Sasori apart, a large wall of razor sharp origami flew between the two factions with lightning speed, almost cutting the very room in half.

"Enough."

Konan was now standing in between the soon-to-be carnage. She wore an irate and cold expression on her face.

"How do any of you expect to win this competition by tearing each other apart?" she directed to Hidan and Kisame.

"And you," Konan said to Sasori, turning only her head towards the puppet and fixating her amber eyes. "You think you're a better leader than Pain? You couldn't lead scum even if it came from your own excrement."

The puppet master's eyes narrowed.

"How_** dare**_ you talk to perfection like this." Sasori whispered with a deadly voice, appearing to shake the room with his own anger. Konan remained still and composed.

"Leader? This is only a band, Sasori, and it is a band you no longer own... not with imperfections like yours."

He flicked his chakra-infused fingers swiftly. "What!? You will witness perfec-"

Before Sasori could complete his sentence, he was scooped up by two large paper blades which reached him unbelievably quickly. There was an explosion of paper and wood which ended with Sasori lying on the floor, legless. He desperately looked over at his Kazekage puppet trying to figure out why it hadn't attacked and poisoned Konan; it was being restrained by Kisame who wore a sly grin on his face. The redhead scowled.

"You... You bitch! All of you!"

Konan approached the pathetic puppet-man, towering high above him.

"Go home and fix your legs up, you're done here today. And after the competition, you're done as our lead guitarist."

Sasori, defeated and in shame, muttered all sorts of "nice" things about Konan under his breath as he crawled towards the slightly open garage door.

"You've won this time," Sasori said without facing his peers, stopped in front of the garage door.

"I'll be a good little boy on the day of the competition. But after we win, you will give the band to me. You will all be my little toys soon enough."

On that note, Sasori slipped under the door, leaving his band mates lost for words.

Konan turned to her mates and cracked a small smile. She was determined to crush the awkward silence.

"Who's ready for a few rounds at the pub?"

Everyone unanimously cheered together... everyone except for Tobi.

"Hey, where the hell is that idiot...?" grumbled Deidara; he had babysat the masked Akatsuki member on too many occasions.

Tobi's triangle was the only thing left of him. It gleamed in the dim garage light.

**(Next chapter: Tobi spies on Pain! D.A.D battles with romance! Where are Itachi and Kakuzu?) **


	2. Chapter 2: Disgusting Developments

Disclaimer! Once again, Naruto characters are not owned by me, but my OC's are.

Co – written and edited by TheCorpseGarden

CHAPTER 2: DISGUSTING DEVELOPMENTS

PART 1

HOW MANY GODS DOES IT TAKE TO PLAY MUSIC?

"Gee, I hope Mr. Pain doesn't see me out here!" proclaimed Tobi as he stood on a three-legged lawn chair balanced against Pain's home, peaking through a window.

"If he does..." He gulped. "I'm done for! And that means no triangle player for Ikusaka!"

The chair Tobi was standing on began to teeter over and the masked man started wind milling his arms around and dodging his head in circles; a futile attempt to maintain balance _without_ making any noise.

"Phewww! That was a close one!" Tobi said as he looked through the small-framed window again, trying to figure out what his former band leader was up to.

He saw two guitars stacked up against a far wall, a bass guitar near by the former, an old drum kit right below the window, and a keytar and an accordion on the couch. Other than several amplifiers, the only other structures in the dull grey room were six coffin-like objects. One of the metal coffins was wide open and empty.

"Ah-ha! That's where Pain keeps his new friends, I bet! But where could he be...?"

Suddenly, a cold presence miraculously appeared behind Tobi.

"Do you really think you are doing something useful, you dog?"

"Uh-oh…" Tobi whispered.

From inside Pain's basement the five closed metal caskets began to open simultaneously, emitting white vapor from inside. Once every coffin was open, each one revealed one of Pain's paths in all their pale skin, orange haired glory. Each path snapped their eyes open and emerged from their temporary resting place.

They soon conformed to a predetermined agenda and began to set up all the instruments, but faint, irritating noise drew their attentions to beyond the far cement wall. Through their Rennigan vision, they spotted an odd looking man who wore an orange mask and the same Akatsuki robe they did. Then, the annoying noise came back for about ten seconds straight, which actually ended up being the odd man begging for his life against the Deva path, who was their band leader. The sounds were muffled, but all five paths knew what was going on.

"You see, uh, I was just checking on you, Pain! Just checking on you! It's been quite a long time, eh?"

"Don't try to humor me; what you are doing here is against God's will."

"No, no, no, Mr. Pain! I'm –"

"ALMIGHTY PUSH."

Within a fraction of a second, the strange man flew through the cement wall with a shrieking scream, landing perfectly in the center of the room, toppling over a large half stack amp cabinet in the process. Tobi stood up revealing an arm bent out of place."

"Owwwwwwwww! That wasn't very nice, Mr. Pain!" Tobi said almost jokingly.

He immediately felt the presence of a group of powerful individuals behind him. Upon turning around he came to the horrible realization that he was outnumbered six to one. Each one of Pain's additional paths glared at him with a cold dead expression of hate.

"Oh my, I'm sorry to have interrupted you gentlemen!" Tobi said with a cringe.

CHAPTER 2 PART 2:

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Holy shit! Dude, are you okay?"

Allerrac ran over to his beloved friend and, after several shakes, determined that he was unconscious but not seriously hurt. His pride, however, had split its skull open on an axe blade. Right now Mr. Clean's pride could take a brief drunken rest before having to face everyone with such a serious injury.

"Oh, _what_ the fuck…" Azure snarled from behind her drum set.

"Maybe we could still practice, but without vocals." El Fucko suggested, trying to establish some sort of peace amongst the group.

"This fuckin' guy..." Azure moaned. "I mean, he can't even come to practice sober? How pathetic."

"Yeah, well at least _**he**_ doesn't have a crush on _**Sasori**_…" Lily replied, taking an obvious shot at Nakimi. The girl in question turned red again, knowing the attention was being directed towards her.

"Come on, Lily! It's not like you haven't had any fucked up crushes before! Remember when you wanted to ask Tobi on a date?" The memory of this past event did not sit well with Lily, as a blush crept onto her cheeks.

"Oh yeah, Allerrac! You told me that one day!" laughed El Fucko, embarrassing Lilly even more.

But before Lily could open her mouth, there was a loud knock on the door, which echoed throughout the house as if it was wood banging on wood. Every member of D.A.D. looked around at each other.

"Nakimi, you're the only one without an instrument at the moment. Get the door." said Allerrac, tweaking the tone knobs on his bass.

Nakimi drudgingly wandered up the stairs she had fallen down, and shuffled slowly to the door, which occasionally yelled with a disturbing wood-on-wood resonance.

With her hand on the door knob, the heavy-set girl peered through the peep hole, attempting to get a view of whatever phantom or sales person had come to steal her soul, or rescue her from this troublesome day. To her dismay, she saw absolutely nothing but the usual surroundings; no figures present. She did hear the voice of a teenage boy grumbling to himself, so she threw the door open, almost slamming the edge into her own forehead and once again saw nothing. Being a strong believer in spirits, the girl felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

"Hey, over here!"

The startled young girl nearly jumped out of her shoes, yelped and backing up. She looked left, right, up... and finally down. Her cheeks nearly melted with bashfulness.

"So, Nakimi, is it? I've had a bit of an accident about a block away and lost my legs. It would be nice if you drove me home. I may even consider helping you out at the battle in two days." said Sasori with a sly hum to his voice.

His wooden leg stumps were behind him like a tail, giving him the slight appearance of a deranged mermaid. He obviously wasn't serious about helping her or her band out, but he knew Nakimi was falling head over heels for him, so he preyed on the girl's heart.

Nakimi was frozen. Her mouth could only tremble and make slight murmuring sounds for a couple minutes. The red-headed puppeteer stared at her with a slight grin crawling up the left side of his face.

"You know, I really hate being kept waiting." A slight bit of malice escaped from his lips. Sasori was quickly growing impatient.

Fearing for her life and her impression on her crush, Nakimi forced a sentence out of her petrified lips.

"Um yes! I-I-I can drive you home!" Nakimi's mouth trembled and her cheeks grew even redder.

She knew that she didn't have a driver's license and her veins went ice cold. She scolded herself for being so quick and stupid with her words. Her mind scrambled for ideas and she even considered stealing Azure's car for him. Luckily, Azure appeared behind her, breaking the tension and horrid thoughts.

"Nakimi, who is it? Oh god… it's _**you.**_"

The brunette was now staring down at Sasori with Nakimi. Instead of nervousness, however, it was rage. Sasori and Azure had some nasty history. Not the kind of history that involves an abusive relationship, but history in the sense that Sasori had cock-blocked Azure on several occasions and embarrassed her in front of her crush and the only person the puppet could call a friend: Deidara.

"Lovely seeing you here, Azure," Sasori said with his infamous sly hum.

"How the hell do you know where I live, you piece of shit?" The way Azure said "shit" sounded as if Sasori had killed and raped every member of her family right in front of her eyes. Sasori knew his presence alone had gotten on her nerves; the malevolence seeping out of her mouth was only reserved for people she truly hated.

Sasori was not dumb, though. Under normal circumstances he would try to antagonize Azure even more, possibly getting her to attack him, knowing she didn't stand a chance against him. However, this was different. Although Azure did not hold any ninja rank, she did have exceptional taijutsu skills that could make Kisame sweat with the excitement of battle. He had seen for himself that she always had weapons on her. Even if she was in normal day clothes, he knew she kept retractable swords and knives clipped onto her belt and jeans. Her skills combined with the fact that he had no legs, no Third Kazekage, and was not even two feet away from her put him at a severe disadvantage. For now, he would keep his mouth shut.

It seemed to Nakimi that her friend and her crush had been silently staring each other down for countless minutes, though her watch had only let a minute and a half fly by. A flock of black birds flying overhead broke the silent trance between Sasori and Azure, and the two started bickering.

"Deidara told me where you lived."

"So you can now stalk me. That's just fucking phenomenal." Azure spat.

"Why would I stalk someone so useless?" He smirked. "I was getting your friend to give me a ride home."

"Wait, ride? Are you stupid? She doesn't even have a license!" Azure mockingly laughed at the legless puppet.. "And she is _**not **_borrowing my car for the likes of_** you**_."

Sasori cast a look of annoyance to poor Nakimi. "It looks like you're no use to me after all. Too bad."

Nakimi, unable to talk at the moment, bowed her head in shame, but quickly raised it in alarm when a crown nearly flew into her face. To her surprise, it completely vanished along with Sasori. Something wrong had happened within a split second, and Nakimi was unsure of what it was. She darted her eyes over to Azure, who looked completely fine; she wore a semi-happy expression as her long brown hair waved slightly in the breeze. Something was off though; her whole outfit was no longer its original colour, but slowly turning black. Within a blink of her eyes, Azure's entire lower half was pitch black and a second later her entire body was a shadow.

Nakimi, petrified with fear, reached out for her friend who, upon being touched, exploded into a mass of swarming crows. Before she knew it, Nakimi was restrained by unseen shadows and two red eyes appeared behind her.

"Stay still and you will not get hurt." The eyes said to Nakimi in a monotone, familiar voice.

…

Sasori was still amongst Nakimi and Azure, although there were no genjutsu hallucinations on his end; all he saw in front of him were the two girls, both staring aimlessly forward with wincing expressions.

"Am I getting a ride home, or am I going to have to_ force_ one of you to drive me?"

No one answered.

"Are you fools listening to me!?"

Sasori continued to yell at the frozen girls until he felt a large chakra presence behind him. The puppet man pivoted around, only to be met with the wide mouth of a burlap sack. Before he could use his hidden blades to cut his way out, he found himself entangled in countless tendril-like ropes, restraining his two remaining limbs. Sasori felt himself sail through the air, tendrils still attached, and crash back down to earth. Since he was mostly wood, he kept consciousness, but felt a bunch of his parts, including his jaw, snap out of place upon impact.

"_Kidnapped and dismembered, eh?"_Sasori thought to himself, "_Like my day wasn't bad enough."_

Sasori, unable to resist, went along with his captor quietly. If it was Konan trying to add more insults and injuries, he would give her hell the first chance he got. Little did Sasori know, Konan and the rest of Ikusaka were at the local bar drinking themselves silly.

…

"Itachi, I've captured him alive. Imagine how much his bounty is worth." said a grim voice from under the shadows of a tree in Azure's front yard. The voice came from Kakuzu, former Ikusaka assistant manager.

"He's worthless if he doesn't come with us." replied Itachi, standing in front of the frozen Nakimi and Azure. His robe was buttoned up all the way so only his hair and eyes were visible.

The two S-ranked criminals exchanged looks of agreement and followed the pathway to the sidewalk, dragging their prize behind them.

"_Itachi and Kakuzu? Pain fired them right before he left Ikusaka... Interesting."_

Sasori's thoughts wandered off as he thought about what his captors were up to and what he had to do with it.

**Next chapter: What are Kakuzu and Itachi up to? What has become of Tobi? Will D.A.D ever get to practice?**


	3. Chapter 3: Misanthropic

Disclaimer: I do not own any bit of Naruto, but my OC's are my own creation.

Co-Written and edited by: TheCorpseGarden

**CHAPTER 3: MISANTHROPIC**

_PART 1: TESTING THE WATER_

"You should have seen the look on your face when that ugly puppet hit you!" a drunken Deidara yelled out to a semi-conscious Kisame. Kisame, who was now on his ninth beer, had just enough sober blood in his body to say something that sounded remotely like, "go fuck yourself."

The six Ikusaka members were heavily enjoying themselves tonight, especially since Sasori was nowhere to be found. This was the usual routine: They would all gather at Deidara's house an hour or two in advance before Sasori arrived to relax, spend countless hours perfecting their songs with Sasori, and then secretly go out together without Sasori's knowledge to drink and party hard. It wasn't always like this though; Sasori use to come along as well. Although, being a puppet, he would only be able to join them in the 'party' aspect of the night. This was, mind you, when Sasori wasn't a complete jackass. This was when Pain held the title of 'jackass'. Eventually, after Pain left and Sasori took over as band leader, he tried to forbid anyone to go out and party in order to keep their skills and minds intact, but Ikusaka wasn't going to buy that. They knew Sasori had turned into a control freak and would not obey.

"Do **not** give him the gin." murmured a tipsy Konan. "Last time you gave him gin it ended with a banana suit and memories I wish to forget."

Hidan, paying no attention to Konan's words, gave Zetsu a bottle of gin. Before anyone could take it away from him, the plant man screamed at the top of his lungs and tore off his robe. Everyone knew it was the white half that couldn't hold his liquor, as the black half seemed to be immune to alcohol. Studies are still being done today.

"You idiot! Put the bottle down!" Zetsu's dark half was trying to wrestle the bottle away from his lighter side, but to no avail. The outcome of this looked like some strange form of drunken dance, even though only half of the dancer was wasted.

"No way, you never let us have any fun, you silly willy!" White Zetsu poked Dark Zetsu in the eye, temporarily blinding him, and then proceeded to wrap his arm around his own torso. With all his drunken might, he slammed himself through a table, resulting in unconsciousness of one side. Dark Zetsu, however, regained his

"I curse the day I was fused with you." Dark Zetsu hissed, continuously slapped the lighter side's face. He attempted to rise to his feet, but failed due to lack of balance, He cursed the fact that he only had control over one half of their body.

The bartender, who was the only other person in the bar, was enraged. Not only had the robe-wearing goons scared away all the other customers, but they also damaged property. The bartender, who goes by the name 'Bick', was a heavyset southern man with an even heavier grimace.

"I'll give y'all to da count a five before I git ma shotgun..." Bick growled, giving the group a deadly glare.

All conscious members of Ikusaka froze, looked at each other, and fled from the bar in mere seconds. Zetsu, unable to move, was 'escorted' out the door and 'seated' onto the concrete, courteous of Bick. Kisame helped Deidara to his feet while everyone else staggered upright. Zetsu somehow managed to lean his cataleptic white half against a brick wall

"Hehehe, you know Deidara, you look like a fuckin' girl!" Kisame bellowed, interrupting the silence with heaving laughter. Everyone else turned their attention to the blonde, who was fuming with rage. Under normal circumstances, everyone would have tried to calm Deidara's temper, but they were too drunk to care. Another factor was that of Kisame's drunkenness. Every time he had a good bit of alcohol in his system, he tried to hit on anything near them, insulting their very existence when they inevitably rejected him.

"I'll kill you, you tuna fish! Hm!" Deidara was about to mold and throw something explosive at Kisame's face, when a metallic crash was heard in the nearby alleyway. To everyone's surprise, Tobi came rolling out in a dented garbage can, covered in ketchup and grease. There was even a pickle lodged in his mask's eyehole.

"Tobi..." Konan said as she approached the masked man. "What are you doing here?"

Tobi stood to his feet only to slip on an old hotdog and crash back down to the garbage pile. Everyone stared as Tobi fell over and over again into the garbage. The seventh time he tried to stand, he was successful. He also took the time to pull the pickle out of his mask.

"Haha, sorry about that, guys!" Tobi said, rubbing the back of his head and picking some trash out of his hair. "You're probably wondering why I'm here, and well… It was the only place I could escape!"

"Escape from who, you moron?"Asked Deidara, irritation laced in his words. He was still pretty drunk like the lot of them, but his hate for Tobi burned so deep that even alcohol couldn't dim it.

"Umm... Well... Escape from" The masked man seemed to hesitate. "Escape from Pain! Pain beat me up with his gang so I had to hide!"

"Gang...? How the fuck does he have a gang!?" Their former leader's business caught the immortal's interest. Surprisingly he was the most sober, along with Konan and Black Zetsu. "Wait, wait, let me get this straight; a bug crawls up his ass and he fires Itachi and Kakuzu, he leaves us, and forms a gang? This is bullshit!"

"That does not matter right now, Hidan." Konan said. "For all we know, he is still in the area and most of us are still..." She glanced over at Zetsu and Kisame. "...intoxicated and incapacitated. We need to get back to Deidara's house and regroup. Pain obviously has an agenda with us. Tobi, what started this?"

Once Konan finished her sentence, Tobi stood frozen. The masked boy was staring in the direction of the half-conscious plant man.

"What the hell did you do, Tobi?!" But Tobi was looking beyond him. Instead of answering, he stood in place shivering before yelling his head off and diving back into the trash pile.

Immediately, an intense chakra presence appeared behind the group. A pained gasp from Black Zetsu made all members of Ikusaka spin around with wide eyes and furrowed brows.

"It is painful to see my former troops like this... but it will be more painful for you after I am through with you dogs."

All six paths of Pain closed the alleyway off, rendering escape impossible. The imposing Preta path had its hand clenched around Zetsu's throat, slowly choking the life out of the plant-man along with all his chakra. With Tobi cowering in fear and Zetsu soon to be fully unconscious, Ikusaka was down to only Hidan, Kisame, Deidara, and Konan, who were still slightly impaired from booze. Pain had picked the perfect time to strike either by luck or from actually tracking them and using Tobi as a petty trap.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Konan, who took the groups front; Hidan and Kisame stood slightly behind Konan side to side, and Deidara took the group's rear in case of a surprise attack from behind. "I thought your extra paths were destroyed years ago. You claimed to not need them anymore."

The Deva Path, Pain, chuckled lowly, something rare and dangerous. He proceeded to explain himself.

"I knew none of you would understand, seeing how inferior you are. Allow me to explain: The only way to achieve musical perfection is proper communication, and what better way to gain that then for every band member to think the same thing at the same time? We are all the same entity; we never argue, we never grow tired, and we certainly don't let each other down."

"You fucking heathen _freak_!" Hidan hissed, his temper firing off like a lit fuse.

"What do you think you're doing, Pain?" Konan calmly asked her ex-boyfriend.

"I am merely... testing the waters."

With that, the Azura path transformed its arm into a cannon and attempted to blast Konan's head off. With a split second to spare, Konan transformed into sheets of paper, allowing the blast to harmlessly rip right through her. The chakra blast was also narrowly avoided by Deidara, who launched a counterattack of explosive birds at all of Pain's paths. The paths scattered, avoiding most of the attack, although some of the explosion scorched the back of the Animal path. Hidan took this opportunity to rush forward and leap into the air with scythe for a killing blow. It was convenient that he took his weapon wherever he went. Positioned above the stunned Animal Path, Hidan took a mighty swing aiming for the throat, only to be blocked by the Azura path, whose arm was now a giant serrated blade. A blade-like tail emerged from under the Azura path's robe, which was barely dodged by Hidan. Once Hidan was out of view, a water shark took his place in front of the Azura path, courtesy of Kisame. However, the Azura path already knew Kisame was firing it due to the Rinnegan, and easily dodged it.

Due to all the noise outside, Bick the bartender rushed out the door with his shotgun. But before he could use it, the Deva Path snatched it with his Universal Pull and snapped it in half with his bare hands.

"Shieyt!" Bick cried, taking cover back inside.

The Azura, Preta, Animal, Human, and Naraka paths broke off from the Deva path to do battle with Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara. The three Ikusaka members fiercely battled the five paths, getting a few lucky hits in, but failing to stop them. They were sloppy due to alcohol in their systems. It looked like they would not win.

Tobi finally emerged from his trash pile and threw a paper bomb at the Preta path, who only just escaped. As the battle commenced within the tiny alleyway, Konan and the Deva path stood facing each other ready to fight. Konan's arm, brandished in a razor sharp paper blade, hung ready by her side. Pain revealed an iron pole sharpened at one end, stained with blood from an unknown past foe. The Deva path chuckled again.

"You far exceeded my expectations, but Ikusaka is still inferior."

Konan wore a look of exasperation, but managed to remain calm.

"What do you expect when you ambush us while we are not at our full potential? And what does fighting in a garbage-infested alley have to do with being a good musician?" Poised with this question, for the first time of his existence, Pain's face became confused. Konan continued her statement. "You are merely envious and do not want us to win tomorrow." She cracked a small smirk, another rarity.

Pain's normally emotionless face filled with anger. With the power of the Rinnegan, he signaled his other paths.

"Scatter."

In the midst of battle, the Six Paths of Pain effortlessly escaped and hid their chakra signatures.

"What's his problem?" a worn-out Kisame inquired. He had taken a beating at the hands of the Human and Naraka paths, but was still in good shape and had given both of them a few nasty scars with Samehada.

Konan, who was helping an almost unconscious Zetsu to his feet, looked back at Kisame.

"He is just testing us. We must prepare for war tomorrow evening."

_PART 2: RECOVERY OPTIONS_

"Hey! What the hell are you guys doing!?" shrieked Lily in her abnormally high voice. She proceeded to shake Azure and Nakimi violently, hoping they would awaken, but it was no use. Her friends were obviously in a powerful Genjutsu, and couldn't snap themselves out of it. It was up to Lily free their minds. She transferred some chakra to each of her hands and pushed forward. Each hand smacked one of her friends squarely in the back. The force of the hit and the chakra made them both fly forward and land face down on the concrete.

Azure snapped her head up, unaware of what just happened.

"Some man you are, attacking me when I'm down! Someone's going to get punched in the fucking nose!" The brunette flipped herself over to discover it was Lily who broke the Genjutsu.

"...Are you fucking serious...?" Azure sighed and shook her head in annoyance.

"Sorry Azure, but if I didn't do that you'd still be standing there looking like a dumbass!" Lily shrieked back. The normally sweet dark-haired girl could show rage just as well as Azure if pushed.

Azure considered what had happened. She considered where she had been and what she had done when she had been trapped in a Genjutsu. She thought of the hellish world she had endured.

"...Thanks, man." She cracked a small smile at Lily and helped herself up.

Nakimi took longer to come to; she was no where nearly as tough as Azure, and the Genjutsu took much more out of her. Azure jogged over to her other friend and patted her on the back as she lifted her face off the ground.

"Hey, you're not deceased, are you?"

Nakimi groaned, signifying she wasn't. Not only did Itachi Uchiha put her under a powerful Genjutsu, but her ultimate crush Sasori said he was disgusted with her. What a day she was having - what a fucking day.

"Cool, you don't have to talk. Lily, give me a hand with her, please?"

Both Lily and Azure helped Nakimi to her feet and silently escorted her back to Azure's basement. This time, Nakimi did not destroy anything (including herself) and made it safely down the stairs. She was in deep though.

Allerrac, El Fucko, and, surprisingly, Mr. Clean were all ready to finally begin practice.

Allerrac yelled over to the three girls, "Yeah, so, he's feeling better now. El Fucko and I took his beer away. So, what happened out there anyway?"

"Well..." Azure stressed as she and Lily sat Nakimi into a chair. "Sasori decided to stalk me, ask Nakimi to drive him home, and then proceed to break Nakimi's heart."

"You forgot the part where you got trapped in a Genjutsu." Lily added.

"Sasori does Genjutsu now?" El Fucko asked with concerned confusion.

"_**No**_, he doesn't does _**not**_ do Genjutsu now," an irritated Azure commented, "but Itachi still does and attacked us for now reason. When we came to, Sasori was gone... and so was Mr. Sharingan."

"What the hell? That doesn't make any sense." Allerrac raised an eyebrow at the thought of this situation. Mr. Clean was standing at his microphone stand, silent with his head down. Obviously Nakimi wasn't the only one who didn't feel like talking. Azure glared at the blonde bassist.

"Are you trying to fuck with me, Allerrac?" Her blood was boiling, but not from Allerrac's disbelief. Being attacked and rendered defenseless wasn't any fun and she deeply wanted revenge.

"Hey, don't get mad at me, I never said you were lying." Allerrac put his hands up in protest. "Let's just jam and get our minds off this shit. First, we'll practice. Then, we'll figure out what the hell is going down."

"Thank you!" yelled an excited El Fucko.

Everyone, even Nakimi, got into their designated place and readied themselves. Lily and El Fucko's amps screeched ever so slightly with feedback, and Allerrac's bass cabinet rumbled every time his fingers rested on a string. Azure was stationed behind her, kit ready to smash something, and Nakimi and Mr. Clean stood at their places silently, ready to play.

Azure clapped her sticks together, "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!"

As soon as she smashed her snare drum, she screamed "FUCK" just as everyone began to play. Everyone stopped and looked at her.

"My fucking snare drum broke! Ohhhhhhhhh mannnnnn."

Azure's snare drum head was split around the edge of one side, resulting in a flopping sound every time she tried hitting it. The brunette, who had had enough of today, rested her head in her arms and growled with frustration. A concerned Allerrac approached her, resting his hand on her shoulders.

"Hey, I know you've had it really tough today, but I think Kabuto's Music shop is still open. Let's go and get you a new snare head. And hopefully we'll all run into Itachi and beat the shit out of him."

Azure picked her head up and gave a look of acknowledgment to Allerrac. Though they were only friends and band mates, he cared for her and her safety like a best friend would.

On that note, everyone abandoned their posts and climbed up the stairs. El Fucko, still unable to play, grumbled to himself before trying to converse with Mr. Clean. Lily, Allerrac, and Azure chatted amongst each other. Nakimi was the last one to make it up stairs.

"_I have a bad feeling about this…" _The heavyset girl thought to herself.

_PART 3: GROUP DYNAMICS_

It was all quiet on Sasori's end ever since Kakuzu and Itachi exchanged several words of agreement. The puppet master remained as still as a rock inside the burlap sack, impatient and weary of his situation. He knew that his captors didn't want him dead, but if he made one wrong move they'd break him even more. That meant more trouble in his workshop later, especially if he had no working limbs. His impatience only grew with every second that passed.

"_Is it time yet? This waiting is of the kind I truly hate the most."_

After what seemed like an eternity, Sasori heard a heavy door open and slam shut, followed by two sets of footsteps. Only one of the footsteps was heading his way, whereas the other set seemed to have stopped elsewhere. The darkness was soon lifted from his vision as the sack was swiftly removed. He immediately stared into the emotionless eyes of Itachi Uchiha. With a voice equally as emotionless and cold voice, Itachi began to fill Sasori in on what was really going on.

"We apologize for this inconvenience, Sasori," He said, "but we have a proposition for you. You must hear our offer first before we fix your jaw."

Sasori, whose jaw was hanging on by one hinge, rolled his eyes and wished he had the Third Kazekage handy.

"We hope to gain your trust and cooperation, especially after what Kakuzu put you through. Once again, we apologize for such matters, but we knew you would not speak with us willingly."

"_So you break half my body and kidnap me inside a burlap sack? Don't make me laugh." _Sasori inwardly hissed.

"I would have normally trapped you in a Genjutsu and apprehended you myself, but Kakuzu would have slaughtered those girls, and that is not a current interest of ours."

_"That would have been splendid." _The redhead wanted to smirk.

Kakuzu was standing at the far end of the room, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed by the heavy door Sasori had heard earlier. He was wearing his usual Akatsuki robe, buttoned up as far as it could go. The three of them were in someone's unfinished basement; a large furnace and oil burner were operating in a far corner, and there were several shelves scattered around the perimeter of the room. The ceiling was littered with pipes and fluffy pink insulation, which was out of place in this dark, grimy room. The center of the room was pretty much a vacant concrete floor except for Itachi, Sasori, the chair Sasori was propped up on, one dim light emitting from the ceiling, and a large table-like object covered with a tan tarp.

"Who cares about them," Kakuzu muttered from the darkness, "They will be dead by tomorrow evening, anyways."

Itachi, paying no attention to his comrade, finally cut to the chase.

"I'm sure you remember the old days of Ikusaka, as do we. We particularly remember how Pain treated us. We were treated like scum and discredited for getting Ikusaka as big as it is now with our musical talent. We remember when he got jealous of our fame and how he fired us with no prior notice, erasing our names from Ikusaka forever."

Itachi's gaze grew even narrower.

"We remember how he pampered us with false emotion, all the rumors he spread about us, and how he made sure no one in this town would ever play with us again. Do you remember, Sasori?"

Sasori, unable to speak, simply nodded. He did remember all the things Itachi said. He even remembered the believable rumors. Kakuzu was apparently stealing money from all of Ikusaka's members and Itachi put Pain under a Genjutsu to have the band sway in his and Kakuzu's favor. Little did anyone know that Pain stole some of everyone's money and favored the two of them for a month straight to make Itachi's Genjutsu story believable.

"Pain mistreated every member. Now we ask you this; do you want revenge for all the wrong done to you? Do you want to see Pain suffer?"

With that, Itachi quickly snapped Sasori's jaw back into place so he could hear a genuine answer.

"Well, Uchiha, you do put up a valuable argument. Yes, Pain has treated me poorly in the past as well."

Kakuzu stepped next to Itachi and gazed down at the redhead they'd kidnapped.

"First off, I no longer care about Pain. Whether he is alive or dead does not affect me."

"Second..." A large grin crept onto Sasori's face. "I actually wouldn't mind working with the two of you. You are both fine musicians and you both treat music as a beautiful for of art that can be created and saved for decades to be listened to... the way it should be. But lastly…"

Sasori looked down at the floor and his grin vanished. When his head rose, his eyes wore a look of rage and frustration.

"Why the _**fuck**_ should I work with you?"

Kakuzu's glare intensified with the intent to kill, while Itachi remained very, very calm.

"First you break the body that I dedicated my life to working on, then you degrade me by kidnapping me in a burlap sack, and now you are asking for my help?" He chuckled darkly. "Don't make me laugh, scum."

Sasori's grin came back, but it was much more malicious this time. He'd promised himself he'd stay cool, but there's only so much the puppet master could take.

"I thought you would same something among those lines, so I have another offer for you." said Itachi with a cool head.

"If you help us eliminate Pain, then we will help you eliminate Ikusaka. In particular, we will eliminate Hidan and Konan."

Sasori froze. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His eyes narrowed.

"How did you –"

"I have been watching you for quite a while now, Sasori. We also know you hate Azure, from the band called D.A.D. She will be taken care of, as well." Itachi said, interrupting Sasori's broken thought. His Sharingan flashed, signifying that he had been using it to follow the events of Ikusaka. He was correct when he'd said Sasori hated Konan and Hidan the most; they were the ones who stood up to him and disrespected his musical art. And Azure...

Sasori snapped back into reality. A new grin crawled from ear to ear.

"So be it." said the malicious red-head with a growling whisper.

Kakuzu's glare turned back to normal as he turned toward the tarp-covered table. Itachi was still fixated on Sasori.

"Before we repair you, I think you should see our trump card."

Kakuzu yanked the tarp from the table object, revealing the shiny black object to a less-than-amused Sasori. The living puppet raised an eyebrow.

"Is that... a DJ turntable?" said Sasori with exasperation to his voice. "Need I remind you that this is not the 90's?"

"Normally we would touch not such an instrument," Itachi replied, "but music is only one of its products."

Itachi looked over at Kakuzu and gave him a brief nod. Kakuzu walked over to a portion of the floor that wasn't touched by light and grabbed hold of a trap door, unseen to Sasori. The masked man threw open the door and pulled a struggling body out of the darkness. Whoever it was, they were bound at the hands and feet and gagged with a cloth. Kakuzu threw the figure in front of the turntable, revealing it to be Shino Aburame, a chunin level shinobi who was skilled at using insects to fight his foes. Sasori took one look at Shino and became disgusted. He thought about how short insects lived and how they couldn't stand the test of time; they were worse than humans.

Shino struggled for a bit, but quickly gave up; he was in a room with three highly dangerous individuals and was defenseless. Not even his bugs were available.

Itachi picked up the chair Sasori sat in and moved it behind the view of the turntable.

"Now, Kakuzu." Itachi signaled Kakuzu to activate the turntable.

Upon turning it on, the turntable shot out a green beam on energy right at Shino. It seemed to eat right through him, as his clothes burned and his flesh sizzled. He was screaming. At the same time, long visible strands of chakra were being pulled out of him and into the table. After a quick show of five seconds, Shino was now a crispy skeleton, and all his chakra was stored into the machine.

"Any questions?" Itachi asked Sasori.

"I am willing to assume that Pain has formed a band and has entered the battle…Tell me what the plan is."

**Next chapter! Is Nakimi right about something bad happening to D.A.D? Will they encounter Itachi or some other dangerous character? What will Ikusaka do now that Pain has his sights on them?**


	4. Chapter 4: Final Preparations

Disclaimer! I don't own Naruto, but the OCs are mine.

Co-Written and edited by TheCorpseGarden

**CHAPTER 4: FINAL PREPARATIONS **

_PART 1: SCUFFLE AT KABUTO'S MUSICAL GOODS_

The six members of D.A.D somehow managed to all cram into Azure's white Buick. Allerrac and Azure were comfortable in the passenger and driver's seat respectively, but poor Lilly was being suffocated in between El Fucko and Nakimi in the back seat. Mr. Clean was going to lie across his three band mates in the back, but was denied due to the fact that he smelt like piss and chocolate. Though Mr. Clean did not actually piss himself, he didn't bath regularly or do laundry as often as he should due to working an airport security job throughout the late night/early morning, cramming in some sleep from seven AM to three PM, and then rushing to get ready once again. His weekends included drinking himself silly with El Fucko, band practice, and sleeping.

When denied access to the back seat, Mr. Clean was told to stay at Azure's house and completely sober up. Instead, Mr. Clean insisted he needed to look at new microphone cables and hopped into the trunk.

The ride to the store was pretty calm with everyone yelling along the lyrics to a Gorerotted CD (save for Nakimi, who was still silent, and Mr. Clean, for obvious reasons) and cracking a few jokes to lift everyone's spirits. At one point, El Fucko was telling Allerrac and Azure about a hot girl with orange hair he saw the other day. He could have sworn she was wearing an Akatsuki robe, but that made no sense since there were only a set number of those in existence. They were all trying to calm themselves down, but in the back of everyone's minds festered the idea of Itachi coming back and doing something much worse than a basic Genjutsu; his fireball jutsu didn't agree with human flesh too well.

"_But what the hell does he want with Nakimi and Azure? It just doesn't make any sense, 'cause they've never personally met him." _A puzzled Lily thought to herself.

But now wasn't the time to think about such confusing things. As long as they stayed in a group, Itachi's Genjutsu could be countered; he didn't stand a chance against all six of them. They weren't any S-ranked criminals, but they each had a few tricks up their sleeves. To everyone else, they were just a bunch of non-ninjas who were trained in a bit of taijutsu... if anything. But to themselves, they were something much more powerful. If it came down to it, they would take down Itachi and anyone else who posed such a threat, or die trying.

"Oh, you fucking asshole! Son of a BITCH! Are you fucking stupid!?"

Although Azure was driving slightly over the speed limit, a dark grey Pontiac swerved around Azure's Buick, nearly sideswiping her. When angered in person, Azure is pretty menacing. On the road, however, she was a demon.

Allerrac caught a glimpse of the Pontiac's rear view mirror and discovered the culprit to be Neji Hyuuga. He wore a smug grin on his face. Azure quickly noticed the grin too and became even more infuriated as Neji disappeared in the distance.

"HE'S GUNNA KILL SOMEONE, WHAT AN IDIOT!"

El Fucko tried keeping the peace.

"Dude, calm down."

"Are you_** seriously**_ telling me to calm down?" Azure hissed at the large man.

Everyone but El Fucko knew not to tell Azure to calm down in a situation like this, and likewise, Allerrac gave him a sign to not interfere anymore. Azure may have sound as malicious as a demon, but she would never go out of her way to chase down someone speeding like that; she had a good driving record and she wasn't going to ruin it. She slowly calmed herself down, but as soon as she did, Neji reappeared. This time, however, he was stopped on the side of the road, being given a citation by Kakashi Hatake, who just happened to be the town's sheriff.

"That dude has the Byakugan, but still fell for Kakashi's trap? What a dumbass!" Allerrac laughed.

The troubled look on Azure's face was now gone and replaced with a closed-mouth smile.

"Good." she said.

...

After almost getting into a car accident with Neji, the group finally arrived at their destination: Kabuto's Musical Goods. It was now 5:50, and the shop closed at 6:00 promptly, so the group dived out of the car and ran inside the shop.

"I think Neji was trying to get here too, his band is in the battle as well." El Fucko said, remembering the one time he had heard his grunge-style band perform at a bar on a Tuesday night. Neji's teammates, Lee and Tenten, were obviously in the band, but Hinata Hyuuga was also part of it.

"Screw that guy!" Lily cried. "He's an asshole! I'm glad he didn't get here in time!"

Though the shop was obviously owned by Kabuto, he was nowhere to be found. He, too, was in the battle, and was most likely with Orochimaru doing some last minute rapping for their hip-hop group, Snake Charmz. Finding Azure a snare head was the easy part. The hard part was remembering that they left Mr. Clean in the trunk.

"Oh shit!" El Fucko yelled as he remembered his best friend climbing into the trunk earlier. "We forgot Mr. Clean, man! He wanted to get some mic cables!"

Allerrac sighed heavily. "Okay, I'll go with you to go get him before he suffocates or something."

"We'll meet you out by the car. We won't be long." Azure said, as she tossed her keys to the two males of the group.

"Yeah." Lily confirmed. "And I'll get Mr. Clean his damn cables, too!"

On that note, El Fucko and Allerrac left the store and headed for Azure's car.

Nakimi was still being silent thinking to herself that something bad was about to happen.

...

El Fucko and Allerrac waded through the long parking lot towards the car's location. Since it was near closing, there normally would have been plenty of parking. Unfortunately, since the local department store located right next to the music shop was having a blowout sale, parking was very tight. Parking was so tight that Azure had to park towards the end of the lot, creating about three minutes of walking distance between the car and the store.

Part way through the trek back to the car, El Fucko saw the "hot" orange haired girl he was telling everyone about between two cars. With a blink of his eyes, she vanished. Several seconds later, El Fucko looked to his left and saw her again. Though he only saw her for only a second, he saw dead purple eyes and many facial piercings. El Fucko turned to his right to speak with Allerrac.

"Yo dude, I keep on seeing that girl I was telling you about. I think she's stalking me or something."

Allerrac quickly snapped his head in both directions.

"Dude, there's no one but us in the lot; everyone's buying some shit."

El Fucko was not convinced.

"I know what I saw man, she's here with us!"

Allerrac had known El Fucko for several years now, and since the first day they met, El Fucko had been sex-obsessed.

"You're probably just horny or something. When we get Mr. Clean, the two of you can go jerk off in the bathroom or something." Mr. Clean was also a sex fiend, with or without alcohol.

They were not alone, however, as Allerrac caught a glimpse of an orange haired man standing emotionlessly between two cars. He was gone within a second.

"Okay, I believe you now." Allerrac gulped. "I just saw some orange haired dude."

"I'm pretty sure what I saw two days ago was a chick, man."

The blonde looked at his companion with doubt.

"Are you sure?" Allerrac imposed, "A lot of these damn shinobi look like kunoichi."

"I KNOW it was a chick I saw, not some gay dude."

El Fucko looked briefly to his left and saw the same figure Allerrac had. Unlike its female counterpart, this one was indeed male and adorned spiky orange hair. It stared at him with murderous intent. Once again, he vanished within the cars. El Fucko felt extremely uneasy. Thankfully the two band mates made it to the car and popped open the trunk. To their dismay, Mr. Clean was not there. Instead an imposing force was felt behind El Fucko and Allerrac, causing the two to whip around to face whatever demon was stalking them. Well, it wasn't a demon, but it was close enough.

The Deva path stood on top of an SUV, just across from where Azure had parked. He held Mr. Clean's unconscious body by the collar of his shirt. Pain chuckled at the two D.A.D members.

"Looking for this?" Pain asked coldly. "Without a front man, what kind of show do you expect to put on tomorrow evening?"

Allerrac turned towards his band mate.

"See? I told you it was a guy."

El Fucko whipped his head to Allerrac

"No, dude, this wasn't the one I saw! I swear it was a girl!"

"I doubt it. Look at this guy; he's wearing red nail polish!"

"So do other shinobi!"

"Yeah, but I just told you: a lot of them look like kunoichi!"

The two continued their bickering. Pain cleared his throat to try and get their attention. He wasn't effective in doing so.

"Dude, I'm not gay!"

"There's nothing wrong with that even if you are. I'm just saying you saw a guy and not a girl!"

"I swear it was a chick though, dude!"

Pain had enough of their bullshit.

"ENOUGH!" Pain yelled, as he used his power to toss a random car across the lot. The car came within a few inches of taking Allerrac and El Fucko's heads off, but luckily they both ducked at the right time. Enough luck was on their side to also prevent Azure's car from being damaged.

"Dude, calm down." El Fucko said, backing away from the intimidating man.

Pain merely smirked and summoned an additional four paths, who all seemed to crash down from the sky. Each landed on an adjacent car, causing each car's roof to cave in and all the windows to explode. Among them were the Preta path, the Human path, the Naraka path, and the female Animal path who stared down at El Fucko. Sections on the right side of her robe were burnt, through showing the pale-white skin of her abdomen. Both the Naraka and Human paths had fresh, bloody wounds on their torsos. They had obviously been in a battle just before confronting Allerrac and El Fucko.

"SEE, DUDE! I TOLD YOU I SAW A CHICK!" El Fucko screamed at his partner.

The Deva path sighed with exasperation. He was just about ready to toss another car at them when Allerrac locked eyes with him.

"You were right," Allerrac said to El Fucko without taking his eyes off of the Deva path, "but that's not just a chick. She's a reanimated corpse implanted with the Rinnegan."

"Ohhhh man! So you mean I'm into necrophilia now!?" El Fucko said with disgust.

"You can be into whatever you want to be, dude, but we have a big problem on our hands now." Allerrac replied in a fearful tone.

The Deva path handed Mr. Clean's unconscious body over to the Naraka path, who proceeded to summon the King of Hell, which busted from underneath a car behind the row of Pains. The demonic face scooped Mr. Clean up with its tongue, ready to rob the man of his life or transport him to an unknown location for eternity. Before it could do anything, however, a short sword sliced through the air and severed the portion of the monster's tongue that was holding Mr. Clean. The five paths of Pain scattered in different directions, and the demonic head retreated into the Earth as the sword thrower revealed herself.

"Alright, what the fuck is going on out here?" Azure questioned with a slight hint of irritation in her voice.

Lily and Nakimi appeared behind Azure and threw a dead Asura path to the ground, spilling gears and other metal pieces from its half-severed neck.

"First this robotic _**idiot**_ tries to fuck with me as we walk out of the store, and now a bunch of goons are trying to fuck with my friends _**and **_my car?" Azure she kicked the dead corpse of the Asura path.

Mr. Clean finally came to.

"Oh man. Why did you forget me in the trunk, guys?"

"Sorry, dude, but we've got better things to worry about right now. Looks like Big Bird left Sesame Street and got hooked on crack! " El Fucko proclaimed as he pointed toward the "hot" Animal path.

"Summoning jutsu!" she yelled, as the infamous and colossal drill-beaked bird was summoned. Like all the six paths, it, too, had Rinnegan eyes.

The six D.A.D members all scattered as the bird attempted a dive-bomb attack. With all of them scattered, the bird targeted Allerrac, who was in its field of vision. To the bird's confusion, Allerrac turned around and held his ground.

"If you think we're just a bunch of nobodies, you're wrong. SHIELD OF VINDICATION!"

After his statement, Allerrac formed a dark sphere around himself just as the bird's beak was a second away from impaling him. Upon touching the sphere, a 360 degree blast of dark energy erupted from Allerrac, severely damaging the bird and causing it to be thrown back. Upon crashing to the ground and flattening about a dozen cars, the summon vanished in defeat.

The five remaining paths gathered on top of five undisturbed cars. Throughout the brief chaos, the Asura path was recovered by the Naraka path. The large orange-haired man threw his dead cybernetic partner over one shoulder with the intent of resurrecting him later on.

Pain had greatly underestimated them, thinking they were just a bunch of kids with no special abilities, but it was clear that each of them had special ninjutsu which were only used in dire situations. This was probably to prevent enemies from knowing who they really were. Allerrac had already demonstrated the ability to form a protective sphere of dense energy, which dealt heavy damage to anything it touched. Only time would show the abilities of the others.

The Deva path, who now wore a grimace, addressed D.A.D., who were now ready for a fight.

"You are all better than I originally thought, but you are far from being our equals."

Before anyone could respond, The King of Hell reappeared, though now it was twice the size as it was earlier. The devilish head opened its mouth wide enough to swallow a house. Instead of swallowing a house, however, the paths of Pain hopped inside as the head lowered underground again. With no words of acknowledgment, all six members of D.A.D. fled to Azure's car. Without offering to hop in the trunk again, Mr. Clean dove into the back seat with Lily, Allerrac, and Nakimi. El Fucko managed to nab the passenger seat. Azure started up the car even before everyone was inside and took off as Mr. Clean's legs dangled out of the side door.

For most of the ride back everyone was completely silent. With less than five minutes before the home stretch, Lily had to break the silence.

"So, what are we going to do now!?" She cried.

"We talk to Ikusaka." Azure said coldly, keeping her eyes locked on the road.

"We talk to them and find out who the hell is behind this."

The pretty brunette was now wearing an emotionless face and squeezing the steering wheel tightly. El Fucko, who easily weighed more than twice her weight, was recoiling from her in fear.

_PART 2: PLEDGE OF RETALIATION_

Six members of Ikusaka were all gathered in Deidara's basement, however this time, they were not each behind an instrument, and Sasori was not present. Normally such an occasion would send them all into a frenzy of happiness, but things were much different. This time, they were being hunted by their former band leader.

"So, what the hell are we gunna do about that prissy bitch?" Hidan questioned as he removed his cloak and leaned against the wall.

"Looks like we'll just have to tear him to pieces in two days." Kisame replied with a very shark-like grin.

Konan did not look amused by the current situation. Her cloak was buttoned up to the very top, revealing only her amber eyes.

"There's only so much that brute force can accomplish in a situation like this." She replied. "With the power of the Rinnegan, Pain has the upper hand."

"You dated the prick, is there anything we should know about? Weakness, maybe?" Hidan grunted without much care. He was tired. All he wanted to do was worship Jashin and go to sleep.

Konan shook her head with conflicted eyes.

"Perhaps if we had Sasori on our side, things would be easier..." The blue-haired angel said in a low tone.

"If you think we're working with him again, you have truly lost your mind." Black Zetsu hissed from the shadows.

"I, out of all would us, would never be seen working with the likes of him." Konan agreed. "But do we have a choice? We must have as much strength as we can get."

"There's always Itachi and my _best friend _Kakuzu, ya know." said the Jashinist, still leaning against the wall. Almost everyone else was sitting down on various sofas and chairs. The only exception was Tobi, who was badly hiding behind a support beam, shivering and ready to wet himself at the next sign of Pain or anything else.

"It would be no use." Konan removed her Akatsuki cloak. "They will not return to our side after their treatment by Ikusaka."

Very few had been fortunate enough to see what existed underneath her cloak. She wore a dark blue sleeveless robe with no back, giving it the appearance of a halter top. The front was missing from her belly down, revealing a pierced naval. Her lower half consisted of dark grey leggings.

"Maybe we should just get Sasori to help us out this one time, hm?" Questioned a concerned Deidara. His normally clear-cut face was now flawed by a couple of bruises.

"Why would we subject ourselves to his tyranny again? Don't make me laugh." Snapped Black Zetsu, shutting the blonde down.

At that instant, their doorbell rang and startled Tobi, who screamed at the top of his lungs and dove into the couch Kisame was sitting on, toppling it _and_ Kisame over.

"You dumbass!" The shark-man roared.

"Sorry, Kisame-Sempai! P-Please don't hurt me!" The odd man yelled back while hugging the angry blue member.

As Kisame wrestled around the floor with Tobi wrapped around him like a python, Konan rose from her seat and made her way upstairs to answer the door. At the top of the stairs, she addressed them all.

"If I'm not back within three minutes... plan an escape."

...

Allerrac and Lily offered to stand closest to the door, as they were the best at communicating on a calm level. Nakimi was still not saying too much, Azure was ready to destroy everything, and El Fucko and Mr. Clean were clearly not fit for the role either. Allerrac rang the doorbell.

"_Oh god, PLEASE don't let her answer…" _Allerrac prayed to himself.

Nakimi may have had a crush on Sasori, but Allerrac had full out fallen head over heels for Konan, and acted like a shy schoolgirl every time he came within close proximity. The door slowly opened and a warm, yet sorrowful voice answered.

"Yes?"

Unfortunately for Allerrac's, Konan _did_ answer the door. To add to his luck, Allerrac could now see much more skin on her than he was used to seeing, and nearly fainted. Only broken words erupted from his mouth.

"Uh, hi K-Konan. W-W-W-We wanted to t-talk ab..."

Lily stepped slightly in front of Allerrac, knowing he was useless at the moment.

"Why are you fucking with us?!" yelled Lily, taking a page out of Azure's book (the two were just too close not have any verbal similarities). The rest of D.A.D. stared at the Ikusaka bassist.

Konan's face harvested a look of confusion.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Konan's eyes narrowed. "...but we would never involve ourselves with those unrelated to our affairs."

"Then why the hell did your pals, Sasori and Itachi, fuck with us earlier? And your former leader, Pain, tried to kill us today! I'm pretty sure we have something to do with your affairs..." said Azure, outlining her fun-filled day.

Konan looked down at the stoop and let out a heavy sigh before looking back up at the group in front of her.

"You will soon realize that we are facing some of the same problems as you are. I think you should discuss this issue with us, too."

Welcoming D.A.D. into Deidara's house, the origami master stepped aside to allow enough room for the six individuals. After slight hesitation, D.A.D. entered the home and followed Konan in a single file line. Following her down a short hallway, they soon reached the basement door, and proceeded to meet with the other Ikusaka members.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here." proclaimed Hidan, as D.A.D. descended the stairs. "Looks like we don't have to be chicken-shit no more."

Deidara looked up from his seat at just the right time, meeting his eye with both of Azure's. Although she could keep herself a little more composed than Allerrac, she did have a thing for the explosive drummer, and blushed slightly during this encounter. If he smiled at her or said one word regarding her existence, she would defiantly pull an Allerrac.

Kisame was sitting back on the sofa, though Tobi was now tied up and writhing around on the floor. Zetsu and Hidan shared a loveseat, though the two would obviously never use it for its intended function. Konan stood in the middle of the room and turned to the other band.

"Tell us, what has happened to you?"

"Woah! Why didn't anyone tell me about this sweet piece of ass before?' exclaimed Hidan, examining Azure from head to toe.

"Oh my fucking god..." Azure sighed. Before she could do anything more, Konan manifested a large wad of paper and smacked Hidan across the jaw with it, toppling the fiend over.

"What the fuck's your problem!?" He asked in shock, his jaw turning numb. Konan merely stared down at him before returning her eyes to Azure's.

"I apologize."

"I might have to kick his ass later..." Azure grumbled back.

"I might have to licking yours." a familiar perverted voice called from the floor.

Azure grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be a wrench, and chucked it with full force at Hidan's face. With a loud crack, Hidan's forehead began to bleed and the proud Jashinist lost conciseness. Normally, Azure would have gone a little lighter, but she knew Hidan was immortal.

"Hehe, what an idiot." Kisame chuckled in the background.

"As I was about to say..." Azure continued. "...We were practicing in my basement, when Sasori somehow finds my fucking house, knocks on my door, and tries to make Nakimi steal _my _car. Then, out of nowhere, Nakimi and I find ourselves trapped under a Genjutsu from Itachi."

"Itachi?" Kisame leaned forward with curiosity.

"Yeah, Itachi!" Lily yelled for confirmation. "I had to break Azure and Nakimi out of the Genjutsu, but there was no sign of him anywhere!"

"But what would Itachi want with these people?" White Zetsu inquired. Everyone was stumped.

El Fucko continued the story.

"Also, we were at the music shop, and Pain and his paths tried to mug us!"

Mr. Clean raised a calm hand to his friend.

"I don't think they were trying to mug us, El Fucko. They were trying to steal my beer... those bastards." Mr. Clean said, adding his own personal twist to the story.

Mr. Clean then took a sip from a beer, which no one knew he had, and proceeded to let out a sigh of relief.

"Ah, yes; the taste of life."

Allerrac stepped forward, overcoming his immense crush, and talked to Konan directly. He still had visible signs of embarrassment, such as small beads of sweat on his brow and blushing cheeks.

"S-Sorry, K-Konan... My friends are... pretty fucked up too."

Konan cracked a very small smirk at Allerrac, which drove his heart crazy. He somehow found the strength to continue without stuttering too much. Deidara was occasionally glancing at Azure, giving her heart an equal amount of butterflies. She was just glad Allerrac was now the center of attention.

"The real story is l-like this; W-We went to the shop to get some supplies and Pain attacked us on the way back to the car. Luckily, Azure was able to defeat one of them and I-I was able to fend off one of the big summons. I think he wanted to pick us off, but u-underestimated our abilities."

At the end of his sentence, Allerrac let a small gasp of air out. White Zetsu saw this and chuckled lightly to himself. Azure was trying her best to hide behind the hulking torso of El Fucko to get out of Deidara's field of view. She could have sworn that he smirked at her. Her cheeks were now redder than Allerrac's. Deidara rose from his seat. Azure's heart rose in her chest

"Let's just say Sasori is no longer a part of Ikusaka, and Pain tried to kill us earlier as well. As for that traitor, Itachi, we haven't seen him in months, hm." said the blonde drummer with a slight hint of cockiness to his voice.

Tobi began to writhe on the floor again.

"Tobi thinks we should all work together to fight Pain and confront Itachi!" He said this with a great amount of cheerfulness.

Under his mask, he was probably the only individual smiling at such an idea. Although Azure and Allerrac have would loved to get to know their crushes better, they would be too embarrassed to do so. Everyone else in D.A.D., save for Nakimi, didn't have much trust for any member of Ikusaka. On the other side, a majority of Ikusaka didn't want to waste their time with such 'unimportant' individuals. Deidara, in particular, was outraged by the suggestion.

"Why would we want to work with these weaklings? They'll only get in the way, hm!"

Konan turned towards the blonde.

"If they're so weak, how did they defeat one of Pain's paths_ and_ one of his summons?" Konan looked back at D.A.D. "I like the idea."

Kisame stood up and joined Konan.

"Samehada's been acting a little funny since this group came in. I think they all have large and tasty chakra levels!" He grinned.

Lily turned to her group to address the main question.

"Sooooo? What do you guys think!?"

"Yup." Azure gave the thumbs up.

"Sure." El Fucko agreed.

"I'm down." said Allerrac with a slight hint of excitement.

"I'll do it." Nakimi replied under her breath.

"I am willing. Cheers!" The infamous Mr. Clean yelled, raising his can of alcohol.

"Good." said Konan, fixating her eyes on Lily's. "One half of Zetsu will stay with you while one half stays with us." Lily looked confused, but Konan quickly cleared everything up.. "Zetsu will be able to monitor you and report any attacks. Our Zetsu will do the same."

The plant-man split into two, causing Lily and El Fucko to cringe with disgust. White Zetsu turned towards D.A.D. and gave them a toothy grin.

"Dude, what about Itachi?" asked El Fucko, concerned that the Sharingan user would return for them

"If he still has business with you, he will pay another visit. Zetsu will be sure to report it. Kakuzu left Ikusaka along with Itachi, so be careful."

D.A.D. collectively thanked Ikusaka for their cooperation and began to head up the stairs. Allerrac was the last one to leave this time. He turned to Konan.

"Hey... uh... Konan? Thanks for helping us out."

Konan walked over to Allerrac, who was essentially frozen in fear. Kisame and El Fucko were laughing to themselves, but the whole world around Allerrac was tuned out. Konan put a hand on his shoulder, which only made things worse.

"Take care of yourselves. I would not wish for anyone else to suffer at the hands of my... former friend. We think we are his main targets, but he must be trying to eliminate any competition."

Konan's sleepy eyes seemed to hypnotize Allerrac, but he soon snapped out of it and gave Konan a solid nod of acknowledgment before turning for the stairs.

"_You be careful too, Konan..." _Allerrac thought.

**Next chapter! Will there be a day of peace or will Pain attack again? Will Itachi or Sasori pay another visit? Can Ikusaka and D.A.D's alliance work out?  
**


	5. Chapter 5: One Day Left

Disclaimer: I don't own any bit of Naruto, but I do own the OCs

**Note: This chapter is sort of a filler chapter, but there are going to be some important events and some battles as well. Some parts are a little violent/grim, but what do you expect from a bunch of criminals?**

Co-written and edited by TheCorpseGarden

* * *

**CHAPTER 5: ONE DAY LEFT**

_PART 1: BEER, PLANTS, AND BODIES_

Surprisingly enough, both Ikusaka and D.A.D. had peaceful nights which did not include any late night visits from Pain, Itachi, or Sasori. Though nobody attacked, both of the groups were still on edge due to the fact that they were being mercilessly hunted by one group, and stalked by another. The unsettledness amongst them resulted in a poor night's sleep. Luckily, neither half of Zetsu had to sleep so he was able to keep a watchful eye on both groups. Let's just say that the Members of D.A.D. weren't too fond of a synthetic plant-man staring at them as they slept. To make it even creepier, Zetsu's head kept on peeking through the walls. Why, they did not know.

To ensure that they would be all ready for a surprise attack, all D.A.D. members stayed the night at Azure's while all Ikusaka members crashed at Deidara's, a mere ten minute walk away. Each team would have been prepared for a battle.

While a majority of D.A.D. woke up feeling groggy, El Fucko and Mr. Clean were as energetic as ever. Somehow, the two of them could stay up all night long and show no signs of fatigue in the morning. One thing was eating at them though: Azure had no beer in her house! This had to change.

"What do you mean you need to get beer!? If we don't stick together, we might get killed!" Lily shrieked in her classic high-pitched voice.

"It's okay, dude. We'll be good." replied El Fucko, "We'll be gone for no more than an hour while everyone else is with Ikusaka. We'll even bring Zetsu with us."

"You'll just get him drunk too!" Lily was now waving her hands around whenever she spoke, trying to get her message across to El Fucko.

"We promise to not drink any until we come back to Ikusaka's house tonight." El Fucko was surprisingly calm.

"Fine. Do whatever you want, guys." Lily said in defeat. She was done arguing.

Upon telling everyone else their motives, El Fucko, Zetsu, and Mr. Clean didn't get much positive feedback. Allerrac merely face palmed, Azure (who got the worst sleep out of everyone) grumbled something before walking back to her room, and Nakimi laughed at the idea of Zetsu drinking beer.

Once Allerrac, Azure, Lily, and Nakimi all got dressed and left the house to meet up with Ikusaka, it was time for El Fucko, Mr. Clean, and Zetsu to run their errand. Since Azure took the car keys with her, the trio had to hop on a bus instead. Azure _refused_ to loan her vehicle to anyone, in fear they would break her heart by destroying it.

Since their town had a mix of its strange looking inhabitants (such as Kisame, Orochimaru, and Kimimaro), the populace was not be alarmed at the sight of Zetsu in his original form. However, since he was now literally chopped in half and leaking white goo everywhere, everyone on the bus crowded to the back half; they wanted to stay as far from the 'freaks' as possible.

"You ready to get some motha-fuckin' beer, El Fucko?!" Mr. Clean screamed at his long time friend.

"Yeah, man! But are you ready to get some… motha-fuckin' coffee?" El Fucko replied with a large grin. Beer and coffee were their favorite things.

In unison, the two yelled "MOTHA... FUCKIN'... COFFEE."

Zetsu merely looked at the two of them with half a smile. Even if Black Zetsu was still attached, he had no mouth.

"Hey, you - plant-man," Mr. Clean called to Zetsu. "Are you ready for some motha-fuckin' beer and coffee?!"

Zetsu's grin widened.

"How about a bottle of gin as well, huh?"

If there was one drink in the world that Mr. Clean disliked, it was gin.

"Aw, I fucking hate gin. But I'll spot you, dude."

"Gin's cool." El Fucko added with a shrug.

"The two of you don't know what a good drink is yet. You're both at the age where you'll be drinking a lot of gin and vodka. Soon you'll move onto some good whiskey, like Jack Daniels, and really good stuff, like Jager."

When he was sober, Mr. Clean could speak intelligently, but most of his thoughts revolved around alcohol, women, and heavy metal.

"Dude, I drink Jager with you all the time!" El Fucko refuted.

"I'm likely much older than you." White Zetsu disproved of Mr. Clean's statement as well.

"None of that matters. I still will never like gin."

"Oh, you're silly." White Zetsu said playfully as he glided over to Mr. Clean. "I'll get you to _**love **_the stuff!"

Mr. Clean merely let out one of his extremely loud laughs and shook his head. No one could get the Booze God to like a shitty drink.

At last, the bus dropped them off near one of Jack's favorite beverage shops. Upon entering the shop, Mr. Clean spotted a shop worker. To Zetsu's luck, the worker was no other than Bick the bartender. After Pain attacked Ikusaka yesterday, the bar had suffered a good amount of damage. Until the bar was operational again, Bick's older brother and owner of the beverage shop, Rick the shopkeeper, got him some temporary work. Bick would soon regret it, tough he had not yet seen Zetsu. Zetsu got a glimpse of Bick, but was far too impaired and unconscious at the bar to remember much. The only thing on his mind was the bottles of gin on a shelf toward the back of the store. He eluded Mr. Clean and El Fucko, who were going after some heavy beer and fresh coffee. They soon came across their favorite beer: Heineken. They also each filled up a large cup of coffee and proceeded to check out with Bick.

"Gud mornin' to ya." Bick said with a small smile. Not only had he recognized two of his best customers from the bar, but he was starting to enjoy serving hard-working individuals their first beverages in the early hours.

Mr. Clean and El Fucko returned the greeting and asked why Bick was serving in the beverage shop.

"Well, ya see… I was mindin' ma own business when a bunch of no gud regulurs come in and start horsin' 'round. Dey git so plasterd that dey start breakin' sheiyt an' I had to kick 'em out by threatnin' dem wit ma shotgun. Next 'ting I know, dey start a back-alley brawl wit a bunch of orange-haired freaks. Da bar suffered harrible damage, mayn…"

"Orange-haired freaks? Damn, we had to fight those douchbags in a parking lot." El Fucko glanced over at Mr. Clean, who shuddered at the memory of his life almost ending.

"Dis all ur gettin'?" Bick asked the two D.A.D. members.

"Oh no, we've got a friend who's buying some gin with us." Mr. Clean looked to the back of the store, in search of their companion.

"Gin?" Bick questioned. Gin was the drink that caused most of the destruction at his bar.

Out of nowhere, a shrill scream echoed through the shop. Soon after, several shelves toppled over, destroying wine bottles, soda, and snack foods. The culprit, of course, was White Zetsu.

"AWWWWW YEAHHHHHH!" cried the bisected plant-man as he took a large swing from a gin bottle, spilling half of the bottle on himself.

Mr. Clean laughed loudly. "Haha! Lightweight!"

"Oh no, not dis fucker again!" Bick yelled as he pulled up his sleeves.

Bick dove over the cashier's area and attempted to strangle Zetsu with his own two hands. Instead, he slipped on some of Zetsu's white goo and fell right on his ass. This sent Zetsu into a laughing frenzy, and he fell down as well. He squirmed around on the ground, kicking Bick's head as the former bartender tried to grab a hold of his limbs. Mr. Clean put the correct amount of cash to cover himself and El Fucko on the desk just as Bick gave Zetsu a hard body slam, grabbed hold of their goods, and ran out of the store.

The two almost ditched Zetsu, but Zetsu came flying out of the doors by force soon after they left. He had obviously lost the wrestling match. The winner put his head beyond the door to announce his victory.

"If I eva see ya again, I'ma break ur damn neck!" Bick yelled. He stomped back into the store and put a big 'CLOSED' sign on the window.

Zetsu was semi-conscious, so El Fucko lifted the synthetic man over one shoulder and proceeded with Mr. Clean to the bus stop.

"Damn dude, not even _you're_ that bad when you're wasted." El Fucko said to Mr. Clean, a sly look on his face.

"This is years of training, El Fucko! Lead by my example!"

"Dude, no." El Fucko said, shutting down his alcoholic friend. "Your drunken ass ends up on the internet doing stupid shit every time you get drunk. People make memes out of you, bro."

Mr. Clean was about to fabricate another weird response when something caught his eye in the distance.

"Fucko, look." Mr. Clean said as he pointed towards a far alley.

El Fucko's heart dropped upon gazing when Mr. Clean was pointing. It was Kakuzu, the former Ikusaka member who was theorized to be working with Itachi. Kakuzu is normally a very imposing character, but this time he was even more ominous because was holding three body bags. With a distant thud, the tall man dropped the bags onto the ground, and El Fucko could have sworn he saw whatever was in the body bags writhe in pain. He then proceeded to open a long slit on the side of a building in the distant alley and stuff one bag inside.

"Okay, that's it; we're going." Mr. Clean said. He turned toward the bus stop and began to jog.

"No dude, I want to do something about this! Like, be a main character or something!" El Fucko whined in retaliation. He started to walk towards Kakuzu, who was still unaware that he was being watched from a distance. The devious man finished loading the body bags into the building and slithered inside as well.

"El Fucko, WE'RE GOING." Mr. Clean said, grabbing his friend by the collar and headed towards the bus stop. Luckily, a bus arrived about a minute later.

_PART 2: CLEANING UP_

Rock Lee was known as a very proud shinobi and an example to lead by; he always radiated confidence to his teammates and always offered help. He was also a very talented vocalist, who led his grunge band, Master's Sensei, to gain quite a bit of local fame. Unfortunately, his bloody cadaver would be too busy rotting in a junkyard, leaving him with no time (or ability) to do the things he once adored.

His body was littered with bruises and broken bones protruded from under his skin, a result from being on the painful end of Pain's Almighty Push several times. His body also brandished several deep cuts and horrid burns, most likely caused by a chakra blast at the hands of Pain's Asura path. Both the Deva path and Asura path stood over the once powerful chunin. They slaughtered a seventeen year-old kid and showed no signs of remorse as they gazed at the grotesque and mangled body.

"Another who failed to understand. The others should be finishing up their targets very soon." The Deva path said aloud.

The sky above them soon grew dark as a barrage of deadly weapons came raining down toward them. Almost effortlessly, the Deva path used his powers of gravitation to blast each weapon out of the sky, resulting in them landing around the two villains harmlessly. Over a pile of cars Tenten, Neji, and Hinata revealed themselves, the two Hyuuga's byakugan already activated. Given the horrible sight in front of them, it was obvious now; Pain was trying to eliminate any competition he could find in order to turn the battle in his favor.

"LEE!" Tenten cried, falling to her knees in despair.

Neji put one arm around his comrade's shoulder to comfort her. Hinata was speechless and ready to cry, but kept a stern composure. Neji, too, kept his composure, but was a raging fire on the inside.

"This saves us the trouble of looking for you." sneered the Asura path, keeping his eyes flawlessly locked on the young ninja in front of him. The Asura path wore its usual creepy grin, the only part of him that showed any kind of emotion.

"Is a competition so important to you that you must end lives?" The Hyuuga boy asked.

The Deva path locked his eyes with his.

"You will never understand. Along with everyone else, you are mere ants."

After giving him a look of utter disgust, the two Hyuuga charged at the two enemies while Tenten stayed back and continually launched weapons at their targets. They had mercilessly killed Lee, so they would not receive any mercy, either. Unfortunately for her, a third set of Rinnegan was watching everyone's movements. With this advantage, dodging all of Tenten's attacks was effortless and the outcome was pretty much already determined. Eventually the wielder of the third set of eyes pounced on top of Tenten, ceasing her cover fire.

Neji and Hinata were trying to land attacks on both paths, but even as expert taijutsu users, they were no match for Pain. After successfully dodging all of Neji's fast attacks, the Deva path used his Almighty Push to launch a car at Neji. With his enhanced vision, Neji was able to evade the rotting hulk of metal, but was met with a sharp pain radiating through his skull as the Deva path caught him in his Universal Pull. Defenseless, Neji was impaled by a pole the Deva path wielded. Life slowly escaped from his eyes, and darkness took over.

Hinata's death was much quicker; the Asura path produced its long serrated blade and hit Hinata in the gut with it, sending her flying back. He then transformed his arm into a chakra cannon, and wiped away her existence with a single shot.

The two paths headed to where Tenten was throwing her weapons. The Human path had taken her by surprise and pulled her soul right out of her body. One could argue that she had the quickest and least painful death.

Through their shared vision the other three paths were showed standing victoriously over their targets; the local thrash metal band called Denim Dan and the Surgeons, which comprised of four awkward teenagers, fell at the hands of the Naraka path, and the pop-punk band know as Beautiful Conception, who was made up of Sai, Karin, and Ino, succumbed to the Animal and Preta paths. These were not the only ones who suffered a fate at the hands of Pain, for about half of the bands entered into the competition had been judged by 'God'.

_PART 3: OLD FRIENDS_

Kisame Hoshigaki should have been with the rest of Ikusaka at Deidara's house, but he needed to clear his head for a bit. The shark-man decided a nearby park would be the best place. Although he was advised against doing so, Ikusaka didn't have much worry about, as Kisame was a very difficult member to kill. Black Zetsu accompanied him just to make sure nothing happened, and to remind Kisame to return back at one PM, the time D.A.D. was supposed to come over. Kisame wanted nothing to do with Zetsu, however, and told him to keep his distance.

The blue Ikusaka member sat on an empty park bench as little children took one look at him while passing by and cried to their mothers. Kisame didn't care. The only thing he cared about was what Itachi was doing, and how bad he felt that he had to end their friendship due to Pain's accusations. He knew Itachi as well as any best friend would, and he thought it was weird that Itachi would betray Ikusaka in such a way. It was true that Itachi had used Genjutsu to manipulate others in the past, but why would he put the band leader under a Genjutsu to get more fame and money? He knew that Itachi had never cared about such trivial things.

Seemingly caught in a trance, Kisame was staring at the ground with his mouth agape, thinking about the past a little too much. Almost as if his daydreams turned to reality, he heard a familiar voice speak out of nowhere.

"Kisame." The haunting voice uttered. "We must speak."

The water-style user whipped his head up to see the imposing prowess of Itachi Uchiha.

"Appearing from the shadows and trying to spook people, Itachi? You haven't changed one bit." Kisame looked slightly over his shoulder to see Black Zetsu trapped in a Genjutsu and chuckled to himself. He was grinning.

"You must to come with me and defect from Ikusaka."

The shark-man looked puzzled. He didn't understand what his former friend was up to, but he was determined to find out.

"Why should I, Itachi?" Kisame asked, his grin widening to resemble a true shark's.

"Because you will die if you do not. Ikusaka is doomed and targeted by severe hatred." Itachi replied, his eyes focused on Kisame's.

"As of now, you are the enemy and I cannot tell you much. Join me and I will fill you in on everything that is happening."

Kisame stood up and erased the grin from his face. This was something rare.

"Come back to us, Itachi. Things are able to go back to the way they were." For once, Kisame was sincere, but Itachi wouldn't fall for it. He closed his eyes.

As much as he wanted to return to Ikusaka, he could not; Ikusaka had ruined his life and reputation. The band had to be destroyed, with or without Kisame's help. Even at this point, Itachi could not consider Kisame a friend.

"I'm sorry, Kisame."

Itachi snapped his eyes open and attempted to capture Kisame in a Genjutsu, a final attempt to get his former friend to help him. However, instead of conforming to Itachi's jutsu, Kisame stood there and laughed.

"I had a feeling you'd try to take me by force."

To Itachi's surprise, Kisame turned into a puddle right before his eyes.

"_A clone?" _The Sharingan user's eyes narrowed.

The real Kisame rushed Itachi from the rear bushes, narrowly missing him with a swing from Samehada. Itachi fought back with a large fireball, swiftly cleaved in half by Kisame's powerful swing. Before the battle could escalate and draw unwanted attention, Itachi dissipated into a flock of crows and disappeared from the area.

"_So, this is how it's going to be, is it, Itachi?"_

_PART 4: BONDING TIME_

Until El Fucko, Mr. Clean, Kisame, and both Zetsus came over, the remaining members of D.A.D. and Ikusaka were surprisingly behaving and socializing. Though he was acting like a little girl yesterday, Allerrac was now chatting to Konan with much more composure. He was still being a little on the shy side, though, just like anyone would be with their crush. Although Konan seemed very unfriendly as well as devoid of much emotion, she was actually a very warm and pleasant individual once she opened up; she hadn't had the best life. Other than both being bass players, the two also had common ground on the types of music they enjoyed and their hobbies. Konan even secretly thought that Allerrac was really cute.

Ironically enough, Azure and Deidara were talking to each other as well; they told each other drumming techniques and musical interests. Azure could compose herself very well around crushes, just as long as everyone's eyes were away from her. Azure even took off her sweater, claiming she was "feeling a little too warm" and revealed a tight tank top beneath. Deidara thought Azure was hot before, but seeing how good her body looked drove the sculptor up the wall. Though Azure and Deidara shared different artistic views, they both agreed that Sasori's self-mutilation was really messed up. Deidara secretly thought that he could change Azure's artistic views "one way or another". Azure seemed to almost read his thoughts and knew he could never make her think such a thing. She didn't mind the "one way or another" vibe he was giving off, though.

Hidan was taking a catnap in the far end of the basement, or so he made it seem. He was actually pretending to sleep, but was gazing over at Azure every so often. Being the demented individual that he was, he vowed to kidnap her one day after the competition and brutally sacrifice her. No one refused his sexual advances, knocked him out, and got away with it. It was obvious that he was pissed since he was completely silent the entire day. Hidan was never silent.

Lily kept her distance from Tobi, who was twiddling around with various instruments and hurting himself. They had an awkward history that Lily wanted to forget. Instead, Lily chatted with Nakimi for a bit before picking up Sasori's old guitar, which had been left there untouched since Konan blasted Sasori's legs off. It played fine, but didn't live up to her expectations. Nakimi chatted with Lily for a bit, but then proceeded to sit by herself and glare over at Allerrac and Azure. They were both talking to their Ikusaka crushes, yet she was scolded for liking Sasori? Why couldn't she be happy and talk to her crush? The girl quickly became full of anger and angst.

"_They're all assholes." _The girl thought to herself. _"I want my crush. Why can't I have my crush?"_

In an instant, and to Nakimi's surprise, Tobi sat next to her and tried to make some conversation.

"So, uh, Nakimi, is it? I'm Tobi!" The masked man said in a goofy voice, reaching his hand out for a handshake.

Nakimi didn't like Tobi very much. Sure, he was funny when he did silly stuff and got hurt, but right now all she wanted was her red-haired prince. She looked at Tobi's outstretched hand for an awkward amount of time until Tobi cleared his throat.

"I'mmmmm waitingggggg." He said in a sarcastic tone. His pitch-black eye was staring right at her.

Before things could get any more awkward, Mr. Clean let himself in and proceeded down the stairs with a case of beer in his hand. Hidan pretended to wake up.

"Ahhh, what a fine day this has been!" The loud bald man said.

Within a few seconds, El Fucko came down the stairs with White Zetsu draped over his shoulder. Lily jolted up from her seat.

"You got him drunk, didn't you?!" She shrieked, upset that she had not been listened to.

El Fucko dropped the unconscious white half onto a couch.

"Well, _**we **_didn't get him drunk. He kind of just went crazy and started drinking gin - the shittiest drink in the world - before getting his ass kicked by a bartender." Mr. Clean clarified.

"What the hell's a bartender doing at a beverage shop, hm?" Deidara questioned.

"We should have told you beforehand that White Zetsu has… an alcohol problem." Konan said with a regretful look in her eyes.

Kisame was the final one to descend the stairs. Black Zetsu was draped over his shoulder, unconscious as well.

"We just ran into an old friend." Kisame said in his signature growly voice while putting Black Zetsu next to White Zetsu, "Itachi tried to talk me into joining him, but he failed to understand that I'm not easily persuaded."

"What the hell is that guy trying to do..." Azure inquired quietly, thinking to herself.

"He wouldn't say much, but he did mention that he didn't want me to die." Kisame said, looking at the ground.

"Well," Lily said, "I guess it's safe to assume that we're being targeted by him as well."

"Oh no! Tobi liked Itachi-Sama too!" The Orange masked man said with an over-exaggerated amount of sadness.

"Did the two of you see anything odd today, hm?" Deidara turned around to face Mr. Clean and El Fucko.

El Fucko answered before Mr. Clean could open his mouth.

"Yeah, man, we saw Cock-uzu loading body bags into the basement of some building. I wanted to investigate, but Clean wouldn't let me."

"Are you stupid?" Deidara fired back. "Even if Zetsu was sober, the three of you would have gotten your asses kicked. Kakuzu isn't a push over. Now that we know Itachi is targeting us and they both left Ikusaka at the same time, there's a good chance they're working together, hm."

"Wow, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth, twat." Hidan scolded from the back wall.

"I can't believe you, out of all people, just said that, you fuck." Azure hissed to the immortal.

Hidan turned to the brunette, ready to give her hell, threaten her, and hopefully sacrifice her. He'd had enough of her shit. Rage flared in his purple eyes.

"Guys, shut the hell up!" Allerrac yelled, stopping the albino in his tracks. "We need to know what we're gunna do now."

Konan looked over at the two Zetsus before turning back to everyone else.

"If we all want to survive, I think all of you should stay with us." She turned her head to Deidara. "Is that alright with you? This is your house."

Deidara shot a quick glance over to Azure. This could be his chance to really get somewhere with her. He looked back at Konan and shrugged, as if he didn't care either way.

"Fine by me, but there's not much room. I don't always have twelve people staying the night, hm."

The sudden sound of a carbonated beverage spilling out of the can alerted everyone's gaze to Mr. Clean. The crazy guy's shirt was covered in beer foam.

"Who wants some sexually appealing beer?!" He hollered with a grin. "Oh god, yes!"

Everyone was becoming use to the crazy bald man, and so they learned to smile at his antics.

"I think we could all use one." Allerrac chuckled. "Except maybe for them."He pointed over to White and Back Zetsu. Unconsciously, the two halves were now cuddling each other as they slept away, like loving twin babies.

* * *

-**Next chapter: It's the evening before the Battle of the Bands competition! What will happen, and more importantly, who will be left to witness it? ANGST, DRAMA - I SUMMON YOU!**


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